The Curb Shitter

I have a question: Why the curb? I mean if I'm ever in the position where I need to publicly shit downtown you can be sure that I will find the most secluded and out of the way location to do so. And yes, I will take a picture of it, but come on: the curb? Half on/half off? Was it done in spite? Too lazy to relocate? Creative inspiration? Why. The. Curb.

At any rate, let's take a good look at these photos please. Go ahead and click 'em already. Please note the lovely waterfall effect down the front of the curb and the not-so-mysterious streak smear thing at the top. Nice pinch, bro.

As you've come to expect from the submissions here this one is completely disgusting in terms of both coloration and consistency. My expertise is steering me toward Cocoa Pebbles and meth but one could argue meth and a couple fluffer nutters, perhaps.

We also owe this submission to Malisams who claims to have contracted pink eye just from looking at it in person. Truly, she is awesome and we are in her debt.

Burrito Apocolypse

See? More chicken. Don't eat chicken in these parts, folks.

I can see what this guy was thinking, too. "I ain't bothering to chew this cause ima just puke it up anyway."

Moar Chicken Puke

You know, this just doesn't even phase me anymore. Chicken puke in the rain? No problem. I'm impervious to the random disgustings about this neighborhood.

I am kind of starting to become suspicious of the chicken of the area, though, since it does seem to get puked up a lot.

Thanks for submission Malisams! It's a beautiful day in Portland today and the sun is shining down on this fresh puke on 3rd and Oak street for us. If you look closely you can see that even the puke is smiling.

Looks like pretty standard fare here: vanilla malt, curly fries and ketchup.

Spring is here! Spring is here!

A Steady Diet of Dinty Moore Stew and Heroin

I don't know how many more entries I'll do with the subject matter of shit but, seriously, what am I supposed to do when they find me? Ignore them? I can't. I owe you to report the disgusting and I can't show a blatant partiality to vomit or I'll be labeled as an anti-fecalist.

Interesting sidenote: as I was gathering my strength to get close enough to take this picture a couple of guys were walking by with pizza slices unaware of the evil that lurked in the stoop mere feet from them.

Me: "hey guys, check that out."
Guy #1: "DUDE. What the ****, dude."
Guy #2: "...did you do that?"

Everyone is a comedian.

Go ahead and click for the hi res version. I know you will.

I know it.

See? I win.

Christmas just changes everything, doesn't it?

Another user submission! Yes! Thanks Mutz/Malisams and everyone else who informed me about it.

Have you ever seen such jolly vomit? What do y'all think this is made up of? I have some guesses and they all contain cranberries, but I'm really, really, trying to work in the phrase 'too much Christmas Blood Loaf' but sadly I just can't.

When one co-worker asked about the feathers, another who witnessed it first hand replied, "the pigeons were eating it". I saw the physical wave of illness pass over his face and it was then that fully realized what I'm doing with this blog is right.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas.

Frozen Blood Puke

I love my co-workers. Annie tipped me off to 'two pukes outside of the Fox and Hounds' so I hurried over, got a quick couple of shots off and bam! Here we are again. Disgusted, confused, perhaps fascinated.

I asked ChrisA which shot I should use and was instead told, "You have a strange hobby". Clearly, he was trying to tell me "use them both".

See? I listen.

It's Frozen, Folks

Awesome. Another user submission! Thanks, Paul!

So what do we have here? We're currently in a pretty killer cold snap in Portland and it hasn't been above freezing in days. This, clearly, made it easier for our photographer to snap this photo for me. But, and my dear readers will have undoubtedly noticed already, he clearly didn't get as close and yours truly would have.

But! We have our first frozen entry! Or entries, assuming that's pee.

A few minutes earlier and we could have had a steam. Alas.

The Shit Sack is a Global Phenomenon

No, I'm not naive enough to think that only Portland residents in the Old Town District were partial to defecation in plastic bags and leaving the results in plain view for everyone, but I have to admit I was surprised and delighted to get an international version of this phenomenon by user submission today. From Argentina!

It made my day. Thanks, N!

In this stunning example we have a particularly hi res sample of the Ol' Classic Shit Sack in a curious aquatic form. The surrounding flower petals are a nice contrasting touch and another interesting detail I'm loathe to let you miss is the condensation on the inside of the bag. Rad.

Go ahead, click to hi res that bad boy.

Nappy Chones

So here we are presented with what was described upon submission as "Nappy Chones". (thanks R. Summers!) I don't even really know what that means but it's as awesome as this is gross. Seemingly what we have here is a pair of women's underwear so filthy and foul that the former wearer would rather go without than don them any longer. And if you look at the hi res photo, and I know you will, you just might see why.

Shudder.

If you look closely on most of my submissions you will find hair in the photos and surprisingly this one appears to be bereft of any. It would have taken the cake if it had.

Reader submissions are go! Got something for the blog? Send me a message with your photo and any relevant information and I'll make it happen. Just make sure it's revolting.